2009 Sep 03: LL Dorkmos

I took this picture on July 23, before I started this blog, but these are what I have on today. So I suppose I've failed in my shoesaday quest, and alas, they'll never make a movie about my shoe fetish, and Fluevog will never have an opportunity to publicly say he hates my blog.

These shoes are nearly brand new and if they weren't so damn comfy I would have returned them, because shoes like this belong only on people who say things like "a-yup" and "woo doggies! that's a kick in the carbuncle!" and are called things like "Papaw" or "Grampops" by their younguns' younguns. They're LL Bean Suede Comfort Mocs, men's size 8.5 wide, and as wide shoes go, they are very narrow. They fit like a glove and are so damn comfy it makes me want to cry. Maybe that's my next career, making comfortable shoes for old fat guys with bad backs and a keen sense of style.

I bought these to replace my original GBX suede slip-ons, which at the time were considered weird and ugly, and yet two years later every nimrod and their cousin, the same nimrods and cousins who called my shoes ugly, were wearing knock-offs of this very style. Turns out a little Elmer's plastic glue and some heavy duty spring clamps was all I really needed to fix those old shoes right up, it was just the treads were coming unglued after 10 years of hard use. They're once again good enough to wear while working in the garage and falling off of step-stools, comfortable enough for trawling around town on a Saturday, yet cruddy enough to not have to worry about spilling paint on. These replacements were meant to replace those venerable old kicks, but of course, being new and all, and even though I find them hideous, I don't want to actually spill paint on them just yet. Plus, they're great for strolling unperturbed through airport security, and I blend right in at the Luby's early bird special. Oh, and did I mention that they caress my feet, molding to my sole, every step an epiphany of pure bliss?

So.

Are these better or worse then my El Dorkmo's, the New Balance sneakers I blogged about?

2009 Aug 14: Brown "shovel toe" laceup oxfords

These were the original brown oxford I bought for work about a year ago. I like them because of the modern toe, I've seen it described as a "shovel toe" which is actually kind of apt, as they tend to be very narrow and flat toward the toe, causing them to curl up slightly. With my monkey feet, it's easy to flip up notebooks and hook lunchbags up off the floor without having to bend over. Why bend when you can grab things with your feet? I'm dangerous barefoot. I also like these because they're slightly higher than your average shoe, coming up right to the ankle joint, almost like a very low boot. I've got a weakness for boots. Casual, dress, work, anything but cowboy boots. Guys from NJ should not wear cowboy boots, it's just ridiculous and more than a little bit sad.

They're a decent quality shoe, Venturini, made in Italy, rubber soles, remember what I said about rubber soles. At least these don't have tribal patterns or company logos, led's, squeaky toys, inflatable flubber cushions, or gummi worms molded into the sole. Alas, they just don't fit right. I tried to make them work, but after a day of extremely light walking around at work, the arches of my feet just hurt. Maybe some gel insoles would help, I don't know. I think, sadly, my feet just aren't made for Italian shoes. Six months after I tried making these work I bought the Dockers I talked about in yesterday's post. Boring, but they don't make my feet hurt.

2009 Aug 13 Bown Cap Toes

Today I'm wearing Dockers' cap-toe brown oxford, US men's 9W. There's a two-day moratorium on the six week long casual clothes festival because the State Board of Education is meeting in our building. These rules about what you can wear crack me up, seriously, I read email and just laugh. They take this very seriously at the State, I could be written up if I show up in pants made from the wrong kind of fabric. How can you not laugh? It's real life theater of the absurd. I tell you what, if they told me I had to wear a brown paperbag hat on Tuesdays, I would, and it'd be stylish, too. At any rate, I needed brown shoes for work, because it just isn't done to wear black dress shoes with chinos, and these were what I could find in a wide width at some discount shoe place with an actual retail front, Famous Footwear I think.

Some people would call these dress shoes (Dockers thinks they are) but let's be honest, they're simply somewhat dressy casual shoes. Men's dress shoes are not made by "Dockers" and they don't have rubber soles. Come to think of it, is there really such a thing as a brown dress shoe? I think they fall in the same category as short sleeve dress shirts, a tautological impossibility

Hey, I don't make these rules, I just report them.

2009 Aug 12 Granola stompers

These are my latest acquisitions, Skechers "Tao sneakers", another concession to conformity. They smack of upscale new-agey granola-munching bicycle-riding tv-eschewing, send-your-kids-to-a-french-language-pre-school NPR-listening ex-hippies. They're called "Tao sneakers" for cryin' out loud.

So how come I keep getting lost with these babies on my feet?