2009 Aug 18: The Great Grape Ape

There was a Hanna Barbera cartoon when I was a kid, Junior High maybe, I'm not sure because I wasn't allowed to watch Saturday morning cartoons, but it was called "The Great Grape Ape", something to do with a giant purple gorilla that played High School football. Our school bus driver at the time was this round, overweight surly guy in a stained purple t-shirt; can you guess what we called him?

These are my latest e-bay score and I do mean score, $25.01 including S&H, Puma canvas sneakers, men's size 9 they are totally sweet. They fit like wrestling shoes, very lightweight and snug across the arch - no, I never wrestled and don't ask how I know how wrestling shoes fit. I will leave that question as an exercise for the reader. But you may call me "El Rey del Mono"

eBay is my ultimate favorite place to find offbeat shoes, I got hooked about four years back with my Yellow and red suede Pumas. My one suggestion for buying shoes from eBay or any other online retailer is, know your brands and how they fit your feet before buying. The numbers hardly have much meaning anymore in terms of size, and while I don't want to come off as a xenophobe, I do believe it's an inevitable confusion of trying to publish sizes and sell shoes worldwide, with so damn many different sizing schema, that, as far as I can tell, are not published or regulated. Used to be, back in the day, you just had to know that you wore a size 7 in English shoes, a size 42 in Chinese slippers, and a size 8 in US men's sizes. And if you were a little adventurous, you might even know that that meant you wore a size 10 in US women's shoes. Which makes me wonder why it's not the reverse, since in general, women want to be smaller than they are and men want to be bigger than they are, because we all know what big feet means.

But I digress.


I believe for instance, that T.U.K. simply has no concept of what the size numbers actually mean, they just came up with their own idiosyncratic numbering scheme. I am convinced of this because I have to buy a size 10 men's to get them to fit on my foot without mashing my toes in the tip, whereas normally I am an 8.5 or 9. And no, I did not accidentally buy women's shoes, because they're marked with both sizes. Chuck Taylors, on the other hand, have the exact opposite problem, where they run about a whole size larger than they're marked, so if you wear a 9 you're best off buying an 8.5 or even an 8, but again, go to a brick and mortar and try them on first, because you can't know till you put them on your feet.

But back to the topic of my fantabulous new purple sneakers. When wearing strong colored shoes, it's important to accessorize not just one's golf polo, but one's beverage as well.